How To Stop Beating Yourself Up

Now you may think this inner critic, while annoying, is relatively harmless. But this is simply not the case. This inner critical voice limits you and stops you from living the life you truly desire. It hinders your emotional well-being and, if left unchecked, can even lead to depression or anxiety.

Here are some ways you can silence that inner critic and stop beating yourself up.

1. Give it Attention

That’s right, in order to gain control over your inner critic you have to know that it exists. Most of our thinking is automatic. In other words, we don’t give our thoughts much thought. We barely notice a critical thought has passed. Give attention to your thoughts, all of them. This will help you recognize the critical voice.

Here are some emotional clues the critic has reared its ugly head: whenever you feel doubt, guilt, shame, and worthlessness. These are almost always signs of the critic at work.

2. Separate Yourself from Your Inner Critic

Your inner critic is like a parasite, feeding off you. You were not born with this parasite but acquired it along the way. Your inner critic hopes it can hide and blend in, and that you’ll think ITS thoughts are your thoughts.

You have to separate yourself from this parasite. One way to do that is to give your critic a name and have fun with this naming.  For instance you could call your inner critic “Judgmental Joe,” or anything else that works for you.  What matters is that you learn to separate it from your authentic self.

3. Kill it with kindness

In order to take the inner critic’s power back, as soon as you recognize it speaking, tell it that you want it to go away, that you don’t need it’s advice anymore and that you are choosing to be kind to yourself from now on.

Self-compassion to an inner critic is like water to fire.

4. Create a New Inner Voice

The more powerful your new inner voice becomes the less pull the old inner critic will have on you.  To create this new voice, start noticing the good things about yourself. No matter what that nasty critic said, the truth is you are worthy and full of fantastic traits and abilities. Start focusing on these!  Thought it may be hard at first to see yourself in a positive light, the more you do it, the more natural and easier it will become.

To have the most fulfilling life possible, we have to stop putting ourselves down and beating ourselves up. So take these 4 steps to quiet that inner critic. You deserve to live your dreams!

Some people’s inner critic is stronger than others. Sometimes the greatest ally you can have in your corner is an impartial third party, such as a therapist, who can see you for who you really are.

If you or a loved one could use some help defeating an inner critic and could benefit from a therapist who can see you for who you truly are, please feel free to reach out today.  I would be happy to speak with you.